Being an only child has its ups and downs. But the downs are really downs, it even hides the ups really well. I have faced it from a very close view.
Being an only child can hold a lot of responsibilities especially when you are going through a rough patch.I recently met someone who was having to face it all alone. As she was the only one, she had to be responsible for both of her parents and for herself.

She was faced with a period in her life when both of her Parents fell ill. One was so ill that they had to be taken into hospital as an emergency. The other was at home but unable to do anything or help put in any way. This time was very tough for her as she had to look at both sides. She had to be in hospital with her father who needed her but at the same time she needed to be at home with her mum who was alone and in pain too. At the same time she was working so had to look at her job side too.Thankfully her colleagues and manager were understanding and allowed her to work from home so she didn’t have to go into the office as that would have made it impossible for her to look after her parents. Whilst she was working from home, she still had to visit the hospital as her father has gone through a heart surgery. She had to take care of the house at home as she needed to look after her mum’s health and make sure she isn’t damaging her health even more by overworking herself.It was hard and tiring for her. She was under a lot of stress and a lot of responsibility on her own. There were people around that did say they were able to help but what could ask help for. She couldn’t ask someone to do her hospital visits for her, she couldn’t ask someone to do all the cooking for her, she couldn’t ask anyone to take her place with her mum, she couldn’t ask someone to do her job for her.

There wasn’t many tasks she could share out with anyone. She didn’t have anyone that was close to the family who could be asked to do these things.She had her own problems but she ignored these and put her parents first. She had tears in her eyes all the time but she decided to control them and put on a smile. She smiled the whole time for everyone and kept pushing herself. Somewhere inside she was brave and strong enough to withstand everything that was thrown at her. It was like she had a this power inside her which kept giving her the strength to go and on.As one thing got better another thing got worse, it was just coming onto her one by one, she stayed strong. She managed herself. She did everything she was able to. She spent money to buy items to help around the house, she made arrangements at home to help manage things. Even being so emotionally and physically tired, she managed to come up with creative ideas that made sense. Most people would not even be able to think straight if they have been sleep deprived and tired for days on end. Now that she has managed to plan her day to fit around her parents, she is able to feel more calmer and in control of the situation. As things are not as steady, she still needs to be aware and alert of things happening around her in case things change or extra attention is needed.

One of the things she purchased was a baby monitor to help her monitor her parents when they are resting. Instead of her running up and down the stairs every half an hour, she can be downstairs getting on with things and if anything is needed her parents can speak to her or call her up. She can respond back and then attend to them. It saves her the energy and the panic of running around continuously.There are still days when it is a bad day but as that is in no ones control, she needs to manage it somehow. She needs to adjust to things and plan around it. She needs to arrange things over the weekend or in the evenings to ensure things are all there for when they are needed. She needs to provide support to them and give them affection and care too. She isn’t a carer or a maid, she is their daughter so there is a lot of love and genuine care in everything that she does for them.I must say it is an emotional task to be able to do this. To be manage the health of 2 people. But at the same time, they are the parents and there is a connection there so it must be hard to see people you love so much in so much pain and struggling with the basic things.

You need the strength from the mind and the heart to keep a smiling face whilst going through so much inside. To have a poker face and not give away anything that you are feeling when it is mayhem inside you.
But nothing was going to stop her. She was going manage her responsibilities no matter what came in the way.